Last Friday was an eventful day. Tiger had announced two days earlier he was coming out of his self-imposed exile and making a statement. No questions were to be allowed. This announcement came suddenly and it immediately became controversial. Since no questions were permitted and the room was to be stacked with the pro-Woods faithful, the establishment press spoke out.
Then, exactly on cue and with all three commercial networks covering this event, Woods appeared just as he had promised. He spoke from prepared remarks and got back in the game. He put it out there, and it had to scare crap out of him. No wife Elin yet, and no definitive return to the sport. He fired his ammo and showed his disdain to the tabloid press for following his 2-year-old to her school, and he groveled to get his old lady back.
It was as naked as it gets, and when you are Tiger Woods there’s a requirement to perform at the top of your game. He was humbled, and he looked like he put on weight. He admitted to all of us that his downfall happened because he thought he was beyond authority. He claimed he was getting back into Buddhism, and he was going to renew his commitment to respect the tenets of the game of golf, since his on-course behavior was being criticized along with the scourge he’s dealing with here.
At the end he got a big hug from his mother, who taught him well, as did his late father Earl. Earl was former Green Beret in ‘Nam. I think more than ever he misses his father, and he is still very much living in hurt hotel. He once thrived on fatherly advice. The circus will leave town for a while, but it will return with Tiger doing his next high-wire act. Let’s see how he compares to Karl Wallenda.
Also on Friday night, Lewis Black performed at the Meyerhoff before a packed house. This was the second time I saw him live. The first time I had to schlep to New York City, had lousy seats, and didn’t dig the scene at all. This time I was up close, and witnessed quite the performance that I had hoped for. He dropped the F-bomb enough times to satisfy my vulgar tendencies, and he screamed at all the appropriate times.
His topics weren’t all political. He opened on a cautiously sarcastic, yet optimistic note saying we’re all doing great—less 20 percent. The analysis was simple if you followed his logic. He did a great schtick about how he headlined in Nashville with Vince Gill opening for him. Gill’s wife, Amy Grant, the acclaimed gospel and contemporary Christian singer, joined her husband onstage for some duets before Black had to go on. He can turn any offbeat situation into a routine. He talked about performing for the USO and he acknowledged his parents, who now reside in Owings Mills.
Toward the end, he got into high gear and began to laser in on a few targets. Now age 61, he began discussing the boomers, mixing his humor with the pathos that only he can provide. He excoriated both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush as total failures of this generation. He didn’t mince words here. If you were in love with either, then you were fucking out of your mind. Clinton who never inhaled but should have, and Bush a stuck-up preppie asshole who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
Then he got into a long diatribe about how this generation sucked at everything and has gotten nothing done, and they owe it to the future generations that we should legalize marijuana. Made sense to me. He then went on a few minutes longer with some of his other pet peeves, including health care and the miserable health insurance companies, and how rich people avoid paying taxes. After that rant, he ended. He was onstage close to an hour and a half. It was a very enjoyable experience for all the neurotics, including myself.
Finally, Friday was also an important day for me. I made the final decision to file suit against the Governor and his press secretary. I was hoping that this could be resolved with a settlement, but after waiting a few extra days, I’m going forward. The pleadings are attached here for your reading enjoyment.
What I’m attempting to accomplish is to compel the Governor’s office to grant me press credentials. I have been denied them. Besides the enormity of the target being the Governor, the legal process that I am employing is not simple. I am filing suit for a Writ of Mandamus, which is not exactly your garden-variety lawsuit. I’m asking a court to compel this action. I’m on offense against the power and inertia of those in control. This will not easy, but I have no other choice. Those of you who know me well are aware that I have had a few scrapes in my day, so what’s one more?
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